He told me he loved me at three weeks. It fell out of his mouth as we waited for our taxi to take us from the pub to Maccas for late night nuggets. We’d been on it all day – drinking, pinging and fucking.
I put it down to an “I love you man” moment; that thing you do when you’re off your head and you love everything and everyone. It’s how women become so friendly in long lines for the bathroom
So he said it and I laughed and told him he didn’t and couldn’t mean it. I’d remind him tomorrow when he was sober and I’d be cool and give him the opportunity to take it back. We got our nuggets and went home.
I took joy in recounting the previous night over breakfast, laughing at his red face and very casually letting him off the hook.
“It’s ok, you can take it back. I know you didn’t mean it.”
“What if I don’t want to take it back?”
“But you have to. You can’t be in love with me after three weeks.”
“Why not? I admit it’s early and unexpected, to me as well, but I do love you. I think you’re an amazing woman.”
“Oh.” I didn’t say it back and nor did he expect me to.
A week later, the words fell out of my mouth, again after a day of drinking, pinging and fucking. We sound like a pair of debauchees but on this occasion we had at least been partying at a Christmas party. We were lying in bed, spooning but not asleep when the words slipped out. But still I was troubled.
Why did someone who had known me only four weeks (read how we met here) now think he loved me? Turns out, I ask him more than a bit so he wrote this two nights ago, when I fell asleep in his lap. He has given me permission to share it.
“Why do you love me”
When you asked me this on the first occasion, it was slightly more difficult to answer. My highly intoxicated brain had forgotten to keep my feelings in check and the words simply rolled from my lips in an involuntary fashion. “I love you” they spluttered into the atmosphere; without the full-frontal lobe function it was inevitable to happen. The amazing past couple of weeks that had been shared created feelings within that had completely taken me by surprise.
I connected with this woman on a higher level than simply wanting to fuck. This within itself was confusing. My life until I met her had been one of women on rotating rosters, rarely fucking only one in the span of a week. For once in a long time, I didn’t have a want nor need for strange or variety. I was happy simply being with this one woman.
The question asked is the why though. The why is simple: my bucket was being filled. I had found someone who was independent, beautiful, sexually compatible and intelligent. On top of that she was mature, she could string a sentence together that didn’t make me question if she had passed high school. We were both looking for someone who would walk beside us into the future. Neither of us seemed terribly interested in dealing with children in the bodies of adults, which I love.
Since then, things have only been added to my bucket. Family is important and hers seem amazing. My family are impressed with her which is important to me. She has friends and her own social life; it gets very tiring when the person you’re with has no life. She urges me to keep up my existing hobbies and make time for the friendships I have; I love this about her.
This woman has now beaten me in chess on several occasions and challenges things I do. While I get frustrated at times by being challenged on certain things, I also think it is good for the soul. She is very open and honest. I have a considerable amount of trust in this woman.
She helps me when I cook and helps cleaning up afterwards, a task which I despise. We have fun when both messy in substance fuelled states, having copious amounts of sex and unwinding.
While this is not unusual for two people, I’m just as happy collapsed on the lounge running my fingers through her hair as we watch something I select from Netflix.
She is open sexually to a range of different things; some I have tried, some I have not. She likes hiking and exploring places which is a huge tick.
I enjoy spending time with her and my kids, this is an entirely new concept that I haven’t done with anyone since I was with their mother. We’ve taken the kids bowling together and had a fantastic day. We spent time together at the beach, with her family at her parents’ house by the pool. Both my children seem to love this woman as well, which means a lot to me.
I’m excited about the possibility of a future with this amazing woman in my life.
Also, she does have an amazing Great Dane.