This one’s for the ladies …

It is a truth universally (among my friends at least) acknowledged, that a straight woman in possession of a good sex drive, must be in want of a good dick. And ladies, I recently got to fuck the most delightful dick. Practically perfect in every way, if Michelangelo had carved it himself from the finest... Continue Reading →

It’s been two weeks and three days

It’s been two weeks and three days since I had sex and, I believe, the longest I have gone without in … years? I’ve thought long and hard about this but with the exception of a 12-day run when I was hiking to base camp and back, I can’t recall another dry stint that comes... Continue Reading →

For fuck’s sake

I am so fucking glad he didn’t disappoint me by leading me on so spectacularly. I thought what he said last week he meant. The “I love yous” that just slip out are usually genuine, from a place of true feeling. Turns out, completely fucking wrong. The man doesn’t even want to be in a... Continue Reading →

Facebook official

I have neglected my writing due to a combination of work craziness and laziness. I also recently picked up a side gig of tutoring so between that, my full-time job, and my copywriting side hustle, I’m exhausting all my brain power to bother to write words for myself. But, I decided this year I was... Continue Reading →

How do I like thee? Um …

The Tortoise put me on the spot last night while we lay in bed and asked me what I liked about him. You know in these circumstances, it’s always problematic to hesitate. But I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t even pause. In fact, a whole two minutes passed before I could conjure up even one thing... Continue Reading →

Punished by the memories of broken relationships

We punish the men in our future for the mistakes of the men from our past. And this is why I got dressed in the dark and drove home from his house at 3am. I had been laying awake for hours. It occurred to me that every night I had stayed there we had downed... Continue Reading →

The best kind of sex

If I thought the sex on our first night together was good, our fourth night was outstanding. The kind of sex you want to bottle and drizzle liberally all over yourself when you’re single and alone and need a reminder of how great sex should be. He thought it was as good as the first... Continue Reading →

Oh no, there’s an emergency

I called in an emergency on Saturday night. I know, I know, it's not very nice but it seems like such a less awkward way to get out of a date you don't want to be on. And to be fair, I gave him a good 35 minutes to wow me but the only surprise... Continue Reading →

The tortoise and the mad rooter

He called me a “mad rooter”. Of course, there’s nothing mad about it. The way I fuck is the way I fuck. It’s honest, it’s frequently intense and it’s almost always loud. But I guess I don’t think about the way I fuck in those terms because it’s just who I am and what I’ve... Continue Reading →

And the Boy still doesn’t want the Girl

My avid readers might recall the Boy from my Boy meets Girl tale from late last year. After it ended quite suddenly and without explanation, I quit the dating apps and gave myself until the new year to have a break and reset. As it happened, I had no sooner logged back on on 2... Continue Reading →

The pursuit of happiness

Happiness takes effort. This was my takeaway from yesterday’s session with my psych. I’d told her that I had given up dating for the rest of this year. I am exhausted and frankly, sick of talking about it, writing about it, worrying about it. The energy it has consumed could be channelled so much more... Continue Reading →

This is the story of when a girl met a boy

Girl meets boy. Girl and boy like each other. Girl and boy have several dates. Girl and boy don't fuck. Boy tells girl he's worried he's not good enough. Boy stops messaging. Girl ends it with boy. Girl messages boy. Boy is happy to hear from girl. Girl asks if they can try again. Boy... Continue Reading →

Why dating and hypomania don’t mix

I have quit the dating apps. Yes, I know, it’s about fucking time, and certainly not the first time I’ve said I would. But, they are gone, and my profiles have been deleted. It’s made me realise how much time I wasted on swiping, on responding to messages that went nowhere, of being grossed out... Continue Reading →

‘Cause the players gonna play

The lesson from the universe this month seems to be “trust your gut instinct”. Too many occasions since A, I have ignored my gut and paid for it in negative consequences. This morning I have woken up knowing that, yet again, I should have made better choices when my instincts were urging me to. From... Continue Reading →

You may call me Mistress: Part 1

He answered the door wearing his collar, like I’d told him to. A muffled clink gave away the secret beneath his clothes. He’d been wearing the cage around his cock since early that morning, after admitting he touched himself when he woke up. It was now 7.30pm.  I sidestepped around his welcome kiss and put my... Continue Reading →

A gentle domination

Tied to the bed by my wrists and ankles, I was at his mercy. Perhaps I should have been more afraid given how little I knew him. But something about him was innately gentle despite the bag of floggers, paddles, gags and toys next to the bed. He struggled with the restraints, admitting he was... Continue Reading →

Dating 101: Finding a dark horse

A last minute date. Nerves. It had been awhile. The banter, while good, hadn’t been going for very long. An exchange of jokes rather than the banalities of our jobs, the weather ... Still, it was unexpected to find myself at his front door. Even on the drive over I considered texting an excuse. Staying... Continue Reading →

Wanted, enquire within: unqualified men to lick vagina

Imposter syndrome. It’s a HR term most women can probably relate to and I’m guessing most men don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s usually applied to people who feel unworthy or unqualified for positions, even once they are appointed. They are haunted by this syndrome of always fearing they will get “found out” for... Continue Reading →

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