Why dating and hypomania don’t mix

I have quit the dating apps. Yes, I know, it’s about fucking time, and certainly not the first time I’ve said I would. But, they are gone, and my profiles have been deleted. It’s made me realise how much time I wasted on swiping, on responding to messages that went nowhere, of being grossed out... Continue Reading →

‘Cause the players gonna play

The lesson from the universe this month seems to be “trust your gut instinct”. Too many occasions since A, I have ignored my gut and paid for it in negative consequences. This morning I have woken up knowing that, yet again, I should have made better choices when my instincts were urging me to. From... Continue Reading →

You may call me Mistress: Part 1

He answered the door wearing his collar, like I’d told him to. A muffled clink gave away the secret beneath his clothes. He’d been wearing the cage around his cock since early that morning, after admitting he touched himself when he woke up. It was now 7.30pm.  I sidestepped around his welcome kiss and put my... Continue Reading →

A gentle domination

Tied to the bed by my wrists and ankles, I was at his mercy. Perhaps I should have been more afraid given how little I knew him. But something about him was innately gentle despite the bag of floggers, paddles, gags and toys next to the bed. He struggled with the restraints, admitting he was... Continue Reading →

Dating 101: Finding a dark horse

A last minute date. Nerves. It had been awhile. The banter, while good, hadn’t been going for very long. An exchange of jokes rather than the banalities of our jobs, the weather ... Still, it was unexpected to find myself at his front door. Even on the drive over I considered texting an excuse. Staying... Continue Reading →

Wanted, enquire within: underqualified men to lick vagina

Imposter syndrome. It’s a HR term most women can probably relate to and I’m guessing most men don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s usually applied to people who feel unworthy or unqualified for positions, even once they are appointed. They are haunted by this syndrome of always fearing they will get “found out” for... Continue Reading →

Latched on and letting go

I was recently reminded in a very loving and gentle way that when you keep making the same mistakes over and over, it starts to piss off the people around you. They love you and all, but it’s that whole “if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll always get the same result”. Well,... Continue Reading →

One year on

My Facebook memories kindly reminded me today that one year ago I was dumped via text message by a man I'd been seeing for eight months. A man I practically lived with. Facebook can fuck off. Tonight I tried to get the man I'm seeing to in some way say some small thing to make... Continue Reading →

How to not find love through speed dating

I’m not sure what my expectations were for speed dating beyond being incredibly low. Did I believe my “person” was going to find me by moving clockwise from table to table, casually pull up a stool and blow my mind with his intelligence, wit, charm in seven minutes? No. Did I think I might find... Continue Reading →

All the butterflies are dead

For the first time in a long time … Not a fuck buddy, or a fling, dating that goes nowhere or a string of messages that peter out because we have run out of inconsequential nothings to talk about and the effort of being witty is just all too much to be bothered with. I... Continue Reading →

Finding love in a crowded igloo

I’ve resisted writing explicitly about online dating for a long time because it’s been done to various degrees of death and dying. However, my latest ventures back into the online pool have been different. For starters, I’ve actually given Bumble a proper go which seems to be yielding a better quality of men if not... Continue Reading →

Sniffing around for sext

It was almost 24 hours to the minute since I ended it with Jake and it started. Random, unsolicited messages from men I hadn’t spoken to in months began to appear in my inbox. Friend requests from men I’d chatted to for maybe a week once on Tinder. Men who I was into once upon... Continue Reading →

The elephant that came too soon

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room, the one who came too soon and, get down on the record once and for all, that premature ejaculation is never the woman’s fault. Sure, our feminine wiles and bodily charms might contribute to you blowing your load before I’ve had the chance to part my legs.... Continue Reading →

Bend over and say fuck

He reached for my hand and pulled me to a stop. I’d been about to step away from the parked car, the car we’d just got out of, to walk the hundred metres or so to the pub. We’d had two cocktails already over lunch. We thought we’d try somewhere different. We were parked in... Continue Reading →

Those three little words

There’s something magical about someone saying they love you for the first time. Your mouth widens involuntarily into a stupid grin, your heart beats faster and you giggle like a schoolgirl at a slumber party. At least that was the case when J said it to me yesterday. It took me by surprise given we... Continue Reading →

My name is AndrewNotChris – Part II

22 September 2017 My best friend once told me I trust too quickly and too easily. That I take people at their word, when others would question their motives. And I fall quickly and hard. I fell for him. And after Terrible Tuesday when his web of deceit began to unravel, that was the time... Continue Reading →

Is there such a thing as a primary school sweetheart?

I think we were both nervous. It had been 10 years since we’d last seen each other, 10 years since our first kiss and our first fuck. We’d known each other since Year 4, had sat next to each other in class, caught the same school bus. Hell, we lived in the same neighbourhood, an... Continue Reading →

Riding the Italian Stallion

August 2017 It was a last-minute invite for sex at his place. It had been almost two weeks since I said goodbye to AndrewNotChris which means it had been two weeks since I'd last had sex. While I don't buy into my housemates' theory of not being able to go longer than two weeks, it... Continue Reading →

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