When sorry can’t fix broken

My heart is heavy which is strange given there is a piece of it missing. I’ve lost my best friend and the weight of it is strangling. It creeps up on me at unexpected times and I remember that I can’t call them on my long drives for work, or send them a meme I... Continue Reading →

The creeper and the fool

If yesterday's emotion was rage, today must be stupid. Cheyne made a fool of me for two years, pretending to be someone he wasn't. Trying to be the person he thought I wanted him to be. I've wondered today how many times he must have laughed behind my back. How many times he watched my... Continue Reading →

Fuck the friend zone, that fucker is dead to me

Have you ever wanted to vomit someone out of you? Expel every memory and conversation and purge yourself of everything you thought you knew? My alleged best friend of more than two years, Cheyne, is a liar. Not just a liar, a pathological cheat, manipulator and deceitful cretin. A pathetic, lame excuse for a man... Continue Reading →

Salvaging the friend zone

I made a really stupid mistake recently. Yes, another one. I decided to “give it a go” with someone who has loved me for a long time but whom I have never had the same feelings for. I’ve known this for a long time. He’s known this for a long time. But one cold Saturday... Continue Reading →

Welcome to cougar town, population me

You know you’re reaching new lows when you fuck the security guard at a wedding. He was cute and just 23 with a nose ring and a hard body such like I haven’t felt beneath me in years. But he was still the security guard at the wedding, a fancy place overlooking the water. He... Continue Reading →

Out of hibernation

I slept with Tom, three months after we called it off forever. He picked me up from the pub I was drinking at with a friend, drove us to his office and we fucked on his desk. Everything was familiar but everything was different. He knew, I think, how fragile our truce was. I had... Continue Reading →

Hello dirty girl, I missed you

I forgot how much I missed kink - talking about it with people who get it, who love it, who are passionate about having a great sex.  Coming out of a very vanilla non-relationship, I realised how much I missed the excitement, the physicality, the mental switch to a sub or domme space. There is... Continue Reading →

Sad things from my drafts folder

I found this sitting in my drafts folder, something I'd written back in January after Tom forgot my birthday. Old news now but it's a good insight into depression. Today I got up and showered. I put on make-up and even half-heartedly dried my hair. I put on a nice summer dress and took myself... Continue Reading →

For fuck’s sake

I am so fucking glad he didn’t disappoint me by leading me on so spectacularly. I thought what he said last week he meant. The “I love yous” that just slip out are usually genuine, from a place of true feeling. Turns out, completely fucking wrong. The man doesn’t even want to be in a... Continue Reading →

Facebook official

I have neglected my writing due to a combination of work craziness and laziness. I also recently picked up a side gig of tutoring so between that, my full-time job, and my copywriting side hustle, I’m exhausting all my brain power to bother to write words for myself. But, I decided this year I was... Continue Reading →

Falling up

It’s pretty common for me to fall down after a high. My psych told me to set up lots of small highs rather than a few big ones to stop the fall from being so severe but it doesn’t appear to be working. I completed my learners motorcycle course today but, as seems to be... Continue Reading →

How do I like thee? Um …

The Tortoise put me on the spot last night while we lay in bed and asked me what I liked about him. You know in these circumstances, it’s always problematic to hesitate. But I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t even pause. In fact, a whole two minutes passed before I could conjure up even one thing... Continue Reading →

A high distinction for an ethical conundrum

For those playing at home, I received my marks back for my research undertaken for my Masters this week. I received a high distinction which gives me a final GPA of 6.83 out of 7. I believe this not only makes me eligible for a Dean's award for this past academic year, but I think... Continue Reading →

Hey everyone, meet Tom

We have responsibilities as humans, as people, not to fuck with the feelings of other people. We may not always ask for them or feel like we intentionally evoked them, but when we become aware of someone having feelings for us it is a basic tenet of respect that we communicate with that person with... Continue Reading →

Punished by the memories of broken relationships

We punish the men in our future for the mistakes of the men from our past. And this is why I got dressed in the dark and drove home from his house at 3am. I had been laying awake for hours. It occurred to me that every night I had stayed there we had downed... Continue Reading →

And I’m done

Some of you would be aware that since even before I started this blog I have been studying to complete my Masters in Organisational Communication. Today I submitted my final assessment, my research project, the bane of my existence for the past eight months. It is done. I definitely do not recommend enrolling in uni... Continue Reading →

The best kind of sex

If I thought the sex on our first night together was good, our fourth night was outstanding. The kind of sex you want to bottle and drizzle liberally all over yourself when you’re single and alone and need a reminder of how great sex should be. He thought it was as good as the first... Continue Reading →

Oh no, there’s an emergency

I called in an emergency on Saturday night. I know, I know, it's not very nice but it seems like such a less awkward way to get out of a date you don't want to be on. And to be fair, I gave him a good 35 minutes to wow me but the only surprise... Continue Reading →

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: