Bend over and say fuck

He reached for my hand and pulled me to a stop. I’d been about to step away from the parked car, the car we’d just got out of, to walk the hundred metres or so to the pub. We’d had two cocktails already over lunch. We thought we’d try somewhere different. We were parked in... Continue Reading →

Zapped by lightning

There are not many times in my life I’ve had a conversation with someone for the first time and been zapped by an instant connection. The kind that makes my voice go high and girly, where I find myself playing with my hair and smiling while nodding at every word they utter. ChrisNotChris was one... Continue Reading →

Thinking of me, thinking of you

It took me days to realise I was actively not thinking about you. I could feel the mania setting in – the insatiable need for distraction, to be busy, to be occupied. I spent hours on social media, trawling the same stories again and again, refreshing apps impulsively looking for a hit, a rush, something... Continue Reading →

The break up test: relief or sadness

“So, which is it? Relief or sadness?” “I don’t know.” When someone says they don’t know how they feel when you’re breaking up, it means they feel relief, and don’t want to admit it. Everyone is hurting enough already. Why tell them you’re relieved it’s over as well? Relief or sadness. Relief and sadness. Rarely... Continue Reading →

The tale of the pretty little slave

“Do you like that my pretty slave?” “Yes master.” “You like it when I pull your hair?” “Yes master.” “Tell me how much you like it.” “I love it when you pull my hair, master.” My hands were bound, white rope biting my wrists, its length tied to the bed head, taut. My arms were... Continue Reading →

Hope is a dirty, not a mother, fucker

The problem with people, is that we hold on to hope when there is none. Hope is so much a part of our psyche, that to give it up entirely would be to give up on humanity. That is to say, to give up on hope, we need to be dead. But having hope when... Continue Reading →

Everest base camp in numbers

I wore a Garmin Vivofit device to track my steps and distance over the 11 days of my Everest Base Camp trek, which was handy because it's waterproof and doesn't need charging. Unfortunately, it doesn't log floors climbed or elevation. These stats represent all movement for the day, which included any down time in villages... Continue Reading →

Three men and a mountain

10 November 2017 I fucked three different men on this trip. I’ve thought a lot about why, my motivations, what I got out of it and enjoyed about it. And I’ve decided that it was because I wanted to. With Shane and Bryan I had a near instant attraction. Craig was more a slow burn.... Continue Reading →

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