‘Cause the players gonna play

The lesson from the universe this month seems to be “trust your gut instinct”. Too many occasions since A, I have ignored my gut and paid for it in negative consequences. This morning I have woken up knowing that, yet again, I should have made better choices when my instincts were urging me to. From... Continue Reading →

When hope holds you back

My psych asked me yesterday if I had considered calling him to tell him how I felt, suggesting that maybe he thought I wouldn't answer a call from him. Or what would I do if he contacted me and told me it was all a mistake. What would I do if he contacted me in... Continue Reading →

Wise words from my friend

On Friday night I had a crash. Not spectacular by my standards but a descent into a pretty dark place. I was halfway through icing 100-plus gingerbread men for my family’s Christmas in July dinner (last night when he met them). Icing bag poised in mid-air, I couldn’t breathe. I dropped the bag into the... Continue Reading →

You may call me Mistress: Part 2

Ready as I was ever going to be, I ordered him to the bedroom where I met him with a long kiss. I gripped the riding crop in my right hand and roughly grabbed the cage encasing his cock with my left. I whispered in his ear: “Are you ready to play, my slutty little... Continue Reading →

You may call me Mistress: Part 1

He answered the door wearing his collar, like I’d told him to. A muffled clink gave away the secret beneath his clothes. He’d been wearing the cage around his cock since early that morning, after admitting he touched himself when he woke up. It was now 7.30pm.  I sidestepped around his welcome kiss and put my... Continue Reading →

Wanted, enquire within: underqualified men to lick vagina

Imposter syndrome. It’s a HR term most women can probably relate to and I’m guessing most men don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s usually applied to people who feel unworthy or unqualified for positions, even once they are appointed. They are haunted by this syndrome of always fearing they will get “found out” for... Continue Reading →

Latched on and letting go

I was recently reminded in a very loving and gentle way that when you keep making the same mistakes over and over, it starts to piss off the people around you. They love you and all, but it’s that whole “if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll always get the same result”. Well,... Continue Reading →

Save a sext, ride a farmer

An unexpected surprise from being back on the dating apps is the past lovers who slide back into your DMs and into your life. A little over two years ago I was seeing the farmer, a super lovely divorced guy a few years older. We dated about six weeks, a true summer lovin’ romance that... Continue Reading →

The boiled lover

I guess I'd never really thought I might end up alone. Somewhere in my future, I saw "something", a happily ever after of sorts. I never saw me being on my own long term. But with every day that passes with more of the same bullshit, grammatically flawed messages that hit the inbox of whatever... Continue Reading →

One year on

My Facebook memories kindly reminded me today that one year ago I was dumped via text message by a man I'd been seeing for eight months. A man I practically lived with. Facebook can fuck off. Tonight I tried to get the man I'm seeing to in some way say some small thing to make... Continue Reading →

The endless torment of an adulteress

It had been weeks since I had cried in the shower. Weeks since I had cried about you, or was it months? It feels like only yesterday you were in my bed but it has actually been almost three months. Three months since I told you to stop contacting me. We both knew you wouldn’t.... Continue Reading →

The heavy weight of words unsaid

A tangle of limbs on my bed. Our breath, that had been coming fast and hard, gradually slows. The skin on the underside of his bicep was smooth against my cheek, my hand thrown across his chest.  It had been so long since we’d seen each other and while the sex felt the same, everything... Continue Reading →

The married man’s right of reply

He wrote this as a right of reply to my previous post. I've made one minor edit to remove an irrelevant reference to a mutual couple we know: It ended all too soon. Of course, I can understand why it did, why in fact it had too. I am not the sharpest implement at times,... Continue Reading →

How I ended my affair in a spectacularly predictable way

We always get exactly what we deserve. Last night I got what I deserved. It was eight months in the making and the moment I had feared since the day he told me he was married. I wrote him a letter. I told him I was in love with him. The consequences of doing this... Continue Reading →

How I lost my way. Again

I think about you more than I should. I know it’s dangerous territory to be playing in but I can’t seem to help myself. Our time together is finite and I know it will likely end sooner than I would have it. But when you left me this last time, to return to your family,... Continue Reading →

The elephant that came too soon

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room, the one who came too soon and, get down on the record once and for all, that premature ejaculation is never the woman’s fault. Sure, our feminine wiles and bodily charms might contribute to you blowing your load before I’ve had the chance to part my legs.... Continue Reading →

Game of cat and married

He and I have been chatting for three months. He is married and should know better. Don’t be like him. And don’t be like me. It wasn’t my intention to chat to a married man after the disasters of a couple of years ago. Lies, affairs, secrets, bruises – of a physical and mental nature.... Continue Reading →

Stuck between a rock and a hard-on

“Let’s go for a walk babe.” A shiver. A tingle. Anticipation. Nerves. Anxiety. Excitement. Fear. Such an innocuous invitation that I knew actually meant “I’m going to fuck you behind those rocks and it’s quite possible multiple men will come and watch and maybe even participate”. “C’mon, babe. It’s just a walk. You don’t have... Continue Reading →

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