They’re just not that into me

There is something wrong with me, I am now sure of it. If I cared about sports, my stats would show a plummeting batting average, striking out more often than not or being run out at first. My dating life has passed the comical let’s regale my friends with funny stories stage and instead is... Continue Reading →

This one’s for the ladies …

It is a truth universally (among my friends at least) acknowledged, that a straight woman in possession of a good sex drive, must be in want of a good dick. And ladies, I recently got to fuck the most delightful dick. Practically perfect in every way, if Michelangelo had carved it himself from the finest... Continue Reading →

How old is too old?

Right, readers, I need some advice. It’s not often I don’t have a gut feeling one way or the other but at the moment I am genuinely unsure. I need to know how old is too old or if there is even such a thing as too old. A 48-year-old man, turning 49 in November,... Continue Reading →

Breaking the drought

Lockdowns have killed my sex life. The ache was starting to infect my dreams. I was waking myself up gripping the bed sheets tight, legs thrown over them while dream me fucked figments of my imagination. It had been over a month now and my mood was fading faster than I could keep my vibes... Continue Reading →

The sound of warmth

I didn’t walk this morning, the first time in many weeks where the thought of getting out of bed was too much for my head to handle. I scrolled through the overnight news on Twitter and the world felt dark. Bleak. There was so much sadness and tragedy unfolding around the globe and here at... Continue Reading →

It’s been two weeks and three days

It’s been two weeks and three days since I had sex and, I believe, the longest I have gone without in … years? I’ve thought long and hard about this but with the exception of a 12-day run when I was hiking to base camp and back, I can’t recall another dry stint that comes... Continue Reading →

The creeper and the fool

If yesterday's emotion was rage, today must be stupid. Cheyne made a fool of me for two years, pretending to be someone he wasn't. Trying to be the person he thought I wanted him to be. I've wondered today how many times he must have laughed behind my back. How many times he watched my... Continue Reading →

Fuck the friend zone, that fucker is dead to me

Have you ever wanted to vomit someone out of you? Expel every memory and conversation and purge yourself of everything you thought you knew? My alleged best friend of more than two years, Cheyne, is a liar. Not just a liar, a pathological cheat, manipulator and deceitful cretin. A pathetic, lame excuse for a man... Continue Reading →

Salvaging the friend zone

I made a really stupid mistake recently. Yes, another one. I decided to “give it a go” with someone who has loved me for a long time but whom I have never had the same feelings for. I’ve known this for a long time. He’s known this for a long time. But one cold Saturday... Continue Reading →

Welcome to cougar town, population me

You know you’re reaching new lows when you fuck the security guard at a wedding. He was cute and just 23 with a nose ring and a hard body such like I haven’t felt beneath me in years. But he was still the security guard at the wedding, a fancy place overlooking the water. He... Continue Reading →

Sad things from my drafts folder

I found this sitting in my drafts folder, something I'd written back in January after Tom forgot my birthday. Old news now but it's a good insight into depression. Today I got up and showered. I put on make-up and even half-heartedly dried my hair. I put on a nice summer dress and took myself... Continue Reading →

For fuck’s sake

I am so fucking glad he didn’t disappoint me by leading me on so spectacularly. I thought what he said last week he meant. The “I love yous” that just slip out are usually genuine, from a place of true feeling. Turns out, completely fucking wrong. The man doesn’t even want to be in a... Continue Reading →

Facebook official

I have neglected my writing due to a combination of work craziness and laziness. I also recently picked up a side gig of tutoring so between that, my full-time job, and my copywriting side hustle, I’m exhausting all my brain power to bother to write words for myself. But, I decided this year I was... Continue Reading →

Falling up

It’s pretty common for me to fall down after a high. My psych told me to set up lots of small highs rather than a few big ones to stop the fall from being so severe but it doesn’t appear to be working. I completed my learners motorcycle course today but, as seems to be... Continue Reading →

How do I like thee? Um …

The Tortoise put me on the spot last night while we lay in bed and asked me what I liked about him. You know in these circumstances, it’s always problematic to hesitate. But I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t even pause. In fact, a whole two minutes passed before I could conjure up even one thing... Continue Reading →

A high distinction for an ethical conundrum

For those playing at home, I received my marks back for my research undertaken for my Masters this week. I received a high distinction which gives me a final GPA of 6.83 out of 7. I believe this not only makes me eligible for a Dean's award for this past academic year, but I think... Continue Reading →

Hey everyone, meet Tom

We have responsibilities as humans, as people, not to fuck with the feelings of other people. We may not always ask for them or feel like we intentionally evoked them, but when we become aware of someone having feelings for us it is a basic tenet of respect that we communicate with that person with... Continue Reading →

Punished by the memories of broken relationships

We punish the men in our future for the mistakes of the men from our past. And this is why I got dressed in the dark and drove home from his house at 3am. I had been laying awake for hours. It occurred to me that every night I had stayed there we had downed... Continue Reading →

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