Sad things from my drafts folder

I found this sitting in my drafts folder, something I'd written back in January after Tom forgot my birthday. Old news now but it's a good insight into depression. Today I got up and showered. I put on make-up and even half-heartedly dried my hair. I put on a nice summer dress and took myself... Continue Reading →

For fuck’s sake

I am so fucking glad he didn’t disappoint me by leading me on so spectacularly. I thought what he said last week he meant. The “I love yous” that just slip out are usually genuine, from a place of true feeling. Turns out, completely fucking wrong. The man doesn’t even want to be in a... Continue Reading →

Facebook official

I have neglected my writing due to a combination of work craziness and laziness. I also recently picked up a side gig of tutoring so between that, my full-time job, and my copywriting side hustle, I’m exhausting all my brain power to bother to write words for myself. But, I decided this year I was... Continue Reading →

Falling up

It’s pretty common for me to fall down after a high. My psych told me to set up lots of small highs rather than a few big ones to stop the fall from being so severe but it doesn’t appear to be working. I completed my learners motorcycle course today but, as seems to be... Continue Reading →

How do I like thee? Um …

The Tortoise put me on the spot last night while we lay in bed and asked me what I liked about him. You know in these circumstances, it’s always problematic to hesitate. But I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t even pause. In fact, a whole two minutes passed before I could conjure up even one thing... Continue Reading →

A high distinction for an ethical conundrum

For those playing at home, I received my marks back for my research undertaken for my Masters this week. I received a high distinction which gives me a final GPA of 6.83 out of 7. I believe this not only makes me eligible for a Dean's award for this past academic year, but I think... Continue Reading →

Hey everyone, meet Tom

We have responsibilities as humans, as people, not to fuck with the feelings of other people. We may not always ask for them or feel like we intentionally evoked them, but when we become aware of someone having feelings for us it is a basic tenet of respect that we communicate with that person with... Continue Reading →

Punished by the memories of broken relationships

We punish the men in our future for the mistakes of the men from our past. And this is why I got dressed in the dark and drove home from his house at 3am. I had been laying awake for hours. It occurred to me that every night I had stayed there we had downed... Continue Reading →

The best kind of sex

If I thought the sex on our first night together was good, our fourth night was outstanding. The kind of sex you want to bottle and drizzle liberally all over yourself when you’re single and alone and need a reminder of how great sex should be. He thought it was as good as the first... Continue Reading →

Oh no, there’s an emergency

I called in an emergency on Saturday night. I know, I know, it's not very nice but it seems like such a less awkward way to get out of a date you don't want to be on. And to be fair, I gave him a good 35 minutes to wow me but the only surprise... Continue Reading →

The tortoise and the mad rooter

He called me a “mad rooter”. Of course, there’s nothing mad about it. The way I fuck is the way I fuck. It’s honest, it’s frequently intense and it’s almost always loud. But I guess I don’t think about the way I fuck in those terms because it’s just who I am and what I’ve... Continue Reading →

Slut shaming is never, ever OK

Slut shaming … I can’t even believe this is still a thing but pathetically, sadly, terribly, there are men out there who still think this is OK. I joined eHarmony, against by better judgement and swallowed hard on the little bit of vomit in my mouth. It is not turning out to be the answer... Continue Reading →

And the Boy still doesn’t want the Girl

My avid readers might recall the Boy from my Boy meets Girl tale from late last year. After it ended quite suddenly and without explanation, I quit the dating apps and gave myself until the new year to have a break and reset. As it happened, I had no sooner logged back on on 2... Continue Reading →

What happens next

You’re waiting at the top of the stairs for me. I walk up slowly, counting each one as my foot hits the tread. Twenty-one steps in all. I don’t pause at the top but walk straight past you and into your office. You follow me in, watching me walk, stilettos clack against the polished concrete.... Continue Reading →

Letting go of what’s bad for me

Going cold turkey is never easy. The first couple of days I am buoyed by hurt and anger, steadfast in my decision, confident I deserve better. By day four, my resolve starts to weaken. I find myself thinking of you in the shower, in the car, watching TV, eating breakfast. I start to check my... Continue Reading →

Never have I ever

Maybe because it's overcast and drizzling rain but my mood is all bad teenage poetry today. I'm totally aware how pathetic it sounds and how poorly it's written but all that combined speaks to the way I feel right now. Indulge me in my melancholy. We’ve shared a bed but never a meal.We’ve exchanged messages... Continue Reading →

The pursuit of happiness

Happiness takes effort. This was my takeaway from yesterday’s session with my psych. I’d told her that I had given up dating for the rest of this year. I am exhausted and frankly, sick of talking about it, writing about it, worrying about it. The energy it has consumed could be channelled so much more... Continue Reading →

This is the story of when a girl met a boy

Girl meets boy. Girl and boy like each other. Girl and boy have several dates. Girl and boy don't fuck. Boy tells girl he's worried he's not good enough. Boy stops messaging. Girl ends it with boy. Girl messages boy. Boy is happy to hear from girl. Girl asks if they can try again. Boy... Continue Reading →

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