Mountain of my making: Journey to Everest Base Camp

After the disappointment I experienced climbing Mt Kilimanjaro (see Climbing a mountain to nowhere), I threw myself into baby-making. We’d been trying for coming on two years without telling anyone bar my bestie. Kilimanjaro had been a good distraction for me, scheduling in training hikes and trawling the gear and equipment stores for those must-have... Continue Reading →

O beware, my fuck buddy, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster

9 February 2018 jealous /dʒɛləs/ adjective: jealous; feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages. feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that one's partner is attracted to or involved with someone else fiercely protective of one's rights or possessions. noun: jealousy; the state or feeling of being jealous. I don’t... Continue Reading →

When you’re infertile and dating, when do you talk about kids?

Today I went shopping for clothes I don’t need for a “divorce” cruise I’m heading off on this Friday. It’s not actually a divorce cruise but the timing of the end of my marriage just happened to coincide with a trip my friend and her husband were going on and I was talked into it... Continue Reading →

My name is AndrewNotChris – Part I

July 2017 I had been off work for two weeks before I could get an appointment with a psychologist. I had been seeing a psych regularly after my infertility diagnosis in 2014. Wendy and I would meet fortnightly or sometimes weekly, depending on how low my mood was. I was taking anti-depressants but it helped... Continue Reading →

My marriage no longer exists

Readers may have noticed that many of my stories are set in the past, and infrequently, when something is particularly significant to me, I write about the present. Today, 23 January 2018, my divorce was finalised in court. It’s been a long process, as those who have been through it know, that started when we... Continue Reading →

My name is ChrisNotChris – Part IV

July 2017 They say karma is a bitch but on this occasion, she was my friend and ally. The morning after Terrible Tuesday, I rang in sick to work. I couldn’t yet face what Chris has told me and sleep beckoned me like a Turkish rug dealer. I messaged my best friend J to tell... Continue Reading →

There’s no friendship in divorce

I’ve had my heart broken before. Been left by my fiancé for a girl he met at the gym. Been in love with guys who haven’t loved me back. But the day I told my husband I wanted a divorce, I broke my own. Not because we weren’t in love. Not because he had done... Continue Reading →

My greatest teenage fear became my greatest adult grief

As a teenager, the fear of pregnancy was engrained. For all my girlfriends growing up, it was one of our greatest fears and a late period was the cause of plenty of angst. No one wanted a pregnancy at such a young age. It was unfathomable to imagine ourselves as mothers. Several months after the... Continue Reading →

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