I usually leave book reviews for my book club meetings but I’m going to make an exception for Mark Manson’s follow up to The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, aptly titled Everything is Fucked. I’m about two-thirds through but something I read has cut to my core and I can’t seem to get... Continue Reading →
The married man’s right of reply
He wrote this as a right of reply to my previous post. I've made one minor edit to remove an irrelevant reference to a mutual couple we know: It ended all too soon. Of course, I can understand why it did, why in fact it had too. I am not the sharpest implement at times,... Continue Reading →
How I ended my affair in a spectacularly predictable way
We always get exactly what we deserve. Last night I got what I deserved. It was eight months in the making and the moment I had feared since the day he told me he was married. I wrote him a letter. I told him I was in love with him. The consequences of doing this... Continue Reading →
How I became an accidental sex therapist
Like many of us, I am often better at giving advice than following it and this week I’ve once again found myself in the position of dirty Dr Phil. I received a message on Plenty of Fish from a married man looking to chat. I politely declined his request at first, citing that fact that... Continue Reading →
How I lost my way. Again
I think about you more than I should. I know it’s dangerous territory to be playing in but I can’t seem to help myself. Our time together is finite and I know it will likely end sooner than I would have it. But when you left me this last time, to return to your family,... Continue Reading →
Sniffing around for sext
It was almost 24 hours to the minute since I ended it with Jake and it started. Random, unsolicited messages from men I hadn’t spoken to in months began to appear in my inbox. Friend requests from men I’d chatted to for maybe a week once on Tinder. Men who I was into once upon... Continue Reading →
Game of cat and married
He and I have been chatting for three months. He is married and should know better. Don’t be like him. And don’t be like me. It wasn’t my intention to chat to a married man after the disasters of a couple of years ago. Lies, affairs, secrets, bruises – of a physical and mental nature.... Continue Reading →
Looking down on Dingboche: reflections on dating and divorce
31 October 2017 Today was a rest and acclimatisation day in Dingboche. We woke late and breakfasted before lightly loading our daypacks for a short hike. The path we would take began behind our teahouse and we met many other groups heading up the same path. The barren landscapes above 4,000m mean it’s easy to... Continue Reading →
Mountain of my making: Journey to Everest Base Camp
After the disappointment I experienced climbing Mt Kilimanjaro (see Climbing a mountain to nowhere), I threw myself into baby-making. We’d been trying for coming on two years without telling anyone bar my bestie. Kilimanjaro had been a good distraction for me, scheduling in training hikes and trawling the gear and equipment stores for those must-have... Continue Reading →
Affairs are never of the heart
I was sitting at a café yesterday having breakfast when Harvey the Married walked past. He was holding the hand of a young girl I presume was one of his children. I don’t think he even saw me and if he did he hid it well. It’s been almost a year since he bit me... Continue Reading →
My name is AndrewNotChris – Part II
22 September 2017 My best friend once told me I trust too quickly and too easily. That I take people at their word, when others would question their motives. And I fall quickly and hard. I fell for him. And after Terrible Tuesday when his web of deceit began to unravel, that was the time... Continue Reading →
My name is AndrewNotChris – Part I
July 2017 I had been off work for two weeks before I could get an appointment with a psychologist. I had been seeing a psych regularly after my infertility diagnosis in 2014. Wendy and I would meet fortnightly or sometimes weekly, depending on how low my mood was. I was taking anti-depressants but it helped... Continue Reading →
My name is ChrisNotChris – Part IV
July 2017 They say karma is a bitch but on this occasion, she was my friend and ally. The morning after Terrible Tuesday, I rang in sick to work. I couldn’t yet face what Chris has told me and sleep beckoned me like a Turkish rug dealer. I messaged my best friend J to tell... Continue Reading →
My name is ChrisNotChris – Part III
4 July 2017 We nicknamed it Terrible Tuesday although the fact that “we” nicknamed anything already reveals there’s more to this story. If I’d been smart, there would never have been a “we” after such a day. He was on his way to the snow and decided to crash at my place and get up... Continue Reading →
My name is ChrisNotChris – Part II
29 June 2017 Last night was my third date with Chris*. He delights me in a million ways. Intelligent and witty, funny and gentlemanly, dirty and considerate. But there’s something off. Something he’s not telling me. He tried to explain that it’s because he had some recent bad dating experiences where the women turned up... Continue Reading →
My name is ChrisNotChris – Part I
21 June 2017 I met Chris on the weekend for the first time. A 40-something man I’d been speaking with for about a week on Plenty of Fish. We met for brunch and the attraction was instant. We hugged a greeting that felt like I’d known him my whole life. The conversation flowed freely, effortlessly,... Continue Reading →
Once was lost, consent not found
This post recalls an event that happened back in June 2016. I wrote it after my housemate asked me about this event, and rather than say it out loud, I wrote it down for him. The following may be distressing to read but please let me assure you that I am OK. I have had... Continue Reading →
The bruises of Harvey the Married – Part III
When I told a guy I’d started seeing that I was writing a book about my adventures, he responded by saying he hoped he was good enough to end up in it. I told him that everyone deserved a chapter, but the story wasn’t always good. This is one of those chapters. This morning I... Continue Reading →
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