Affairs are never of the heart

I was sitting at a café yesterday having breakfast when Harvey the Married walked past. He was holding the hand of a young girl I presume was one of his children. I don’t think he even saw me and if he did he hid it well. It’s been almost a year since he bit me... Continue Reading →

My name is AndrewNotChris – Part II

22 September 2017 My best friend once told me I trust too quickly and too easily. That I take people at their word, when others would question their motives. And I fall quickly and hard. I fell for him. And after Terrible Tuesday when his web of deceit began to unravel, that was the time... Continue Reading →

My name is AndrewNotChris – Part I

July 2017 I had been off work for two weeks before I could get an appointment with a psychologist. I had been seeing a psych regularly after my infertility diagnosis in 2014. Wendy and I would meet fortnightly or sometimes weekly, depending on how low my mood was. I was taking anti-depressants but it helped... Continue Reading →

My name is ChrisNotChris – Part IV

July 2017 They say karma is a bitch but on this occasion, she was my friend and ally. The morning after Terrible Tuesday, I rang in sick to work. I couldn’t yet face what Chris has told me and sleep beckoned me like a Turkish rug dealer. I messaged my best friend J to tell... Continue Reading →

My name is ChrisNotChris – Part III

4 July 2017 We nicknamed it Terrible Tuesday although the fact that “we” nicknamed anything already reveals there’s more to this story. If I’d been smart, there would never have been a “we” after such a day. He was on his way to the snow and decided to crash at my place and get up... Continue Reading →

My name is ChrisNotChris – Part II

29 June 2017 Last night was my third date with Chris*. He delights me in a million ways. Intelligent and witty, funny and gentlemanly, dirty and considerate. But there’s something off. Something he’s not telling me. He tried to explain that it’s because he had some recent bad dating experiences where the women turned up... Continue Reading →

My name is ChrisNotChris – Part I

21 June 2017 I met Chris on the weekend for the first time. A 40-something man I’d been speaking with for about a week on Plenty of Fish. We met for brunch and the attraction was instant. We hugged a greeting that felt like I’d known him my whole life. The conversation flowed freely, effortlessly,... Continue Reading →

Once was lost, consent not found

This post recalls an event that happened back in June 2016. I wrote it after my housemate asked me about this event, and rather than say it out loud, I wrote it down for him. The following may be distressing to read but please let me assure you that I am OK. I have had... Continue Reading →

The bruises of Harvey the Married – Part III

When I told a guy I’d started seeing that I was writing a book about my adventures, he responded by saying he hoped he was good enough to end up in it. I told him that everyone deserved a chapter, but the story wasn’t always good. This is one of those chapters. This morning I... Continue Reading →

The man who shouldn’t get married – Part II

The best thing about fucking someone you have fucked many times before is that they know what turns you on. They know how to make you come with no mucking around. And while I am a big fan of fucking new people, trying new positions, exploring the unexplored, sometimes it’s just good, comforting even, to... Continue Reading →

Harvey the Married – Part II

It was hard, fast and everything Harvey needed in that moment. He’d had a stressful morning he told me. Work stuff and he hadn’t come yet that day. “You come every day?” Yes, don’t you? “Um no.” Once in my room, he seemed uneasy, like he wasn’t sure how to proceed. I stepped in close... Continue Reading →

The man who shouldn’t get married – Part I

It’s the first time we’ve been alone since his girlfriend, now fiancé, found out about us. I have no expectations about what might happen but when he immediately turns the conversation to sex after greeting me with a kiss on the cheek, I suspect we’ll end up fucking. He is getting married next Sunday; his... Continue Reading →

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