He wrote this as a right of reply to my previous post. I’ve made one minor edit to remove an irrelevant reference to a mutual couple we know:
It ended all too soon. Of course, I can understand why it did, why in fact it had too. I am not the sharpest implement at times, but I could see how it would. It took many many months of will we or won’t we meet, will we or won’t we fuck if we do and finally a connection. I have to confess though; I was far from done.
She was smarter and way more sexy that she gave herself credit for much of the time. Maybe it was just me being selfish but I wanted more. I wasn’t fully addicted, but I was certainly enjoying.
I was in a foreign land when she sent the note that ended it. In the week leading up to her doing so I found comfort in thinking about her and how fucking hot I found her when I was surrounded by women that I am not attracted too. It was in the same foreign land outside a pub I frequent she sent a message during my last trip claiming I was bad for her and to leave her be. I agreed only to recommence chatting the following day.
Maybe if I send her this I will be selfish, I will send it, she will critique it and pick all the spelling and grammar errors but fuck it, selfish I will be.
I should leave it. I caught myself about to message her when I stumbled over an image I shared with her the other day. I was looking for one for work and bang, a reminder. It is a really hot image; one I was so excited for us to recreate. A sexy woman sitting on a man’s face enjoying a glass of red. The glass is to full on closer inspection. If the man is doing it right there would be red wine everywhere. All over the floor, all over the fit for purpose pillow and all over him, which is certainly not a bad thing.
I am wondering if I will get to do that any time soon with anyone. It takes a specific kind of woman to do that with. She has to like red wine and face sitting for a start.
Then there is the little thoughts I was having about snippets of sex that when combined into one session would be epic. I have played out so many that you would need two session at least and they are only the ones I have sent over messages to her.
There was a whole underwear drawer that needed to be riffled through. Underwear I would instruct her to put on just so I could handle her whilst she wore them, my hands all over her and pushing into her tugging at the feeble defence they provided. The underwear I want to feel as a barrier between her and my tongue. The underwear I wanted to make wet first with my words then with my actions. The underwear that would cover her nipples as they hardened with touch. The underwear that conceals my goal.
Underwear that I would like her to have in her hands whilst you she worked my cock with them. I want to experience the sensation of the material being used like that. I want to make a mess of them with my release. I want her to kiss me hard pushing her tongue into me as she does. I want her to talk to me as she does it.
We had talked more about how we needed to fuck for hours. I felt that there was so much exploring of another to do. It takes time to explore such interesting terrain after all. I was planning to be all over that terrain with gusto.
I know I will see the bag of toys that has not been opened for way too long and rue an opportunity missed. I was so excited when she looked in the bag. I think I concealed it but when she said we should play with them in my mind I was in wholehearted agreement. Too fucking right we will.
I had asked her to do the inevitable in person. She agreed, or I think she did, but she reneged on her agreement. Was this selfish as she put it. It would evaporate her resolve. I wasn’t so sure. Maybe it would but I know for certain it would give me a chance to tell her what I thought and of course there was a possibility we would get one more roll around. To say I would take what I could get is lessening it all to much but I knew, even from just a sexual stand point, it was something I wanted. That’s the problem, it was from more than a sexual stand point.
We spend a lot of time as sex loving adults trying to compartmentalise the sex and the emotion. It becomes too hard, as I experience less than 24 hours ago but when you do get connection its 10X sex. Everything clicks. You fuck in sync. I’m no expert but when you connect both sexually and mentally it is hard not to feel more. The sexual energy is intense.
There is much unfinished businesses, of that I am sure but the business is better left unfinished. From her stand point the business is done, the liquidators are in, assets stripped only to phoenix again down the road under a different name with hope that the new business has a longer term future build on better people. For her I hope that happens.
As for now, is it back to before?
I guess I will to find another I click with that I can kiss all over, that I can trace with my tongue and laugh at silly messages and the like. That should be my wife but sadly that compatibility left many years ago if in fact it was ever there.
I promised her I would write her something. This is more a ramble than a write and it is never as polished as hers. I will write something else. For her, about her and when, I don’t know. Will I send it if I do? Maybe but most likely not. For now, I think I may have been selfish enough.
I have read this and corrected things. I will have missed things I am sure. Almost on que she messages me suggesting among other things, I consider getting a copywriter.
And with that, I am guessing we are now done and dusted.