Two is company, three is a cliché

His hand on my leg. Mine caressing her thigh. Our drinks on the side of the spa. “Are we all good?” he asked. “Yeah, I’m good,” she said and leaned in to kiss me. He came in close to watch us. Her hands were touching my body, exploring. He was pressed into me from behind,... Continue Reading →

Game of cat and married

He and I have been chatting for three months. He is married and should know better. Don’t be like him. And don’t be like me. It wasn’t my intention to chat to a married man after the disasters of a couple of years ago. Lies, affairs, secrets, bruises – of a physical and mental nature.... Continue Reading →

The break up test: relief or sadness

“So, which is it? Relief or sadness?” “I don’t know.” When someone says they don’t know how they feel when you’re breaking up, it means they feel relief, and don’t want to admit it. Everyone is hurting enough already. Why tell them you’re relieved it’s over as well? Relief or sadness. Relief and sadness. Rarely... Continue Reading →

Looking down on Dingboche: reflections on dating and divorce

31 October 2017 Today was a rest and acclimatisation day in Dingboche. We woke late and breakfasted before lightly loading our daypacks for a short hike. The path we would take began behind our teahouse and we met many other groups heading up the same path. The barren landscapes above 4,000m mean it’s easy to... Continue Reading →

Mt Everest, the best anniversary gift

29 October 2017 Today would have been my sixth wedding anniversary but, instead, I saw Mt Everest. We headed out of Namche bright and early to a stunning clear sky. The climb through the terraces was trying on my cold legs but once we reached the track proper I was able to fall into a... Continue Reading →

Climbing a mountain to nowhere

5 August 2013 Our summit attempt was to begin at 4am from 5,300m. I hardly slept it was so cold. I had thermals on, heat pads, an arctic-rated sleeping bag and still I was cold. And scared. I had wanted this my whole life and I was terrified I was going to fail. Unable to... Continue Reading →

Affairs are never of the heart

I was sitting at a café yesterday having breakfast when Harvey the Married walked past. He was holding the hand of a young girl I presume was one of his children. I don’t think he even saw me and if he did he hid it well. It’s been almost a year since he bit me... Continue Reading →

My name is AndrewNotChris – Part II

22 September 2017 My best friend once told me I trust too quickly and too easily. That I take people at their word, when others would question their motives. And I fall quickly and hard. I fell for him. And after Terrible Tuesday when his web of deceit began to unravel, that was the time... Continue Reading →

Is there such a thing as a primary school sweetheart?

I think we were both nervous. It had been 10 years since we’d last seen each other, 10 years since our first kiss and our first fuck. We’d known each other since Year 4, had sat next to each other in class, caught the same school bus. Hell, we lived in the same neighbourhood, an... Continue Reading →

O beware, my fuck buddy, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster

9 February 2018 jealous /dʒɛləs/ adjective: jealous; feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages. feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that one's partner is attracted to or involved with someone else fiercely protective of one's rights or possessions. noun: jealousy; the state or feeling of being jealous. I don’t... Continue Reading →

Sailing away from marriage

4 February 2018 It's day five of the cruise and it has rained almost without pause. We had a brief window of blue sky and sunshine during which hundreds of pale bodies emerged from below to sun themselves in neat rows on the pool deck. Most ended up burnt and drunk. I escaped the sun's... Continue Reading →

Infertility leaves no physical scars

My mum had always told us kids that if we ever got a tattoo she would disown us. It was a serious threat that none of us had taken lightly. It had been a year since my diagnosis of immature egg syndrome. A year since I had stopped really caring what anyone thought, including my... Continue Reading →

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