Sniffing around for sext

It was almost 24 hours to the minute since I ended it with Jake and it started. Random, unsolicited messages from men I hadn’t spoken to in months began to appear in my inbox. Friend requests from men I’d chatted to for maybe a week once on Tinder. Men who I was into once upon... Continue Reading →

Game of cat and married

He and I have been chatting for three months. He is married and should know better. Don’t be like him. And don’t be like me. It wasn’t my intention to chat to a married man after the disasters of a couple of years ago. Lies, affairs, secrets, bruises – of a physical and mental nature.... Continue Reading →

Affairs are never of the heart

I was sitting at a café yesterday having breakfast when Harvey the Married walked past. He was holding the hand of a young girl I presume was one of his children. I don’t think he even saw me and if he did he hid it well. It’s been almost a year since he bit me... Continue Reading →

My name is AndrewNotChris – Part II

22 September 2017 My best friend once told me I trust too quickly and too easily. That I take people at their word, when others would question their motives. And I fall quickly and hard. I fell for him. And after Terrible Tuesday when his web of deceit began to unravel, that was the time... Continue Reading →

O beware, my fuck buddy, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster

9 February 2018 jealous /dʒɛləs/ adjective: jealous; feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages. feeling or showing a resentful suspicion that one's partner is attracted to or involved with someone else fiercely protective of one's rights or possessions. noun: jealousy; the state or feeling of being jealous. I don’t... Continue Reading →

My name is AndrewNotChris – Part I

July 2017 I had been off work for two weeks before I could get an appointment with a psychologist. I had been seeing a psych regularly after my infertility diagnosis in 2014. Wendy and I would meet fortnightly or sometimes weekly, depending on how low my mood was. I was taking anti-depressants but it helped... Continue Reading →

My name is ChrisNotChris – Part IV

July 2017 They say karma is a bitch but on this occasion, she was my friend and ally. The morning after Terrible Tuesday, I rang in sick to work. I couldn’t yet face what Chris has told me and sleep beckoned me like a Turkish rug dealer. I messaged my best friend J to tell... Continue Reading →

My name is ChrisNotChris – Part III

4 July 2017 We nicknamed it Terrible Tuesday although the fact that “we” nicknamed anything already reveals there’s more to this story. If I’d been smart, there would never have been a “we” after such a day. He was on his way to the snow and decided to crash at my place and get up... Continue Reading →

Once was lost, consent not found

This post recalls an event that happened back in June 2016. I wrote it after my housemate asked me about this event, and rather than say it out loud, I wrote it down for him. The following may be distressing to read but please let me assure you that I am OK. I have had... Continue Reading →

The bruises of Harvey the Married – Part III

When I told a guy I’d started seeing that I was writing a book about my adventures, he responded by saying he hoped he was good enough to end up in it. I told him that everyone deserved a chapter, but the story wasn’t always good. This is one of those chapters. This morning I... Continue Reading →

The man who shouldn’t get married – Part II

The best thing about fucking someone you have fucked many times before is that they know what turns you on. They know how to make you come with no mucking around. And while I am a big fan of fucking new people, trying new positions, exploring the unexplored, sometimes it’s just good, comforting even, to... Continue Reading →

Harvey the Married – Part II

It was hard, fast and everything Harvey needed in that moment. He’d had a stressful morning he told me. Work stuff and he hadn’t come yet that day. “You come every day?” "Yes, don’t you?" “Um no.” Once in my room, he seemed uneasy, like he wasn’t sure how to proceed. I stepped in close... Continue Reading →

The man who shouldn’t get married – Part I

It’s the first time we’ve been alone since his girlfriend, now fiancé, found out about us. I have no expectations about what might happen but when he immediately turns the conversation to sex after greeting me with a kiss on the cheek, I suspect we’ll end up fucking. He is getting married next Sunday; his... Continue Reading →

Harvey the Married – Part I

I met Harvey at work, maybe the first or second week after I started. He was reasonable looking, a friendly nature but there was something else. It took me a while to pin it down but I settled on “a twinkle in his eye”. He was charming, very fucking charming, and oozed charisma. We’d flirt... Continue Reading →

Real men leave their wives

An old school friend this week went public on Facebook to share he was in a new relationship. It was a shock to many people in his network as he'd been in a 10-year relationship with someone else and there had been little to suggest their relationship was in trouble. In fact, his recent Facebook... Continue Reading →

Married men want one thing

“I think one of the guys at work is flirting with me,” I said leaning out of my office door in the general direction of my friend Z. “What do you mean?” “I mean, we were talking about a media enquiry and now I think he’s flirting with me. What do I do?” “Um, nothing.”... Continue Reading →

There’s no friendship in divorce

I’ve had my heart broken before. Been left by my fiancé for a girl he met at the gym. Been in love with guys who haven’t loved me back. But the day I told my husband I wanted a divorce, I broke my own. Not because we weren’t in love. Not because he had done... Continue Reading →

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