When you’re infertile and dating, when do you talk about kids?

Today I went shopping for clothes I don’t need for a “divorce” cruise I’m heading off on this Friday. It’s not actually a divorce cruise but the timing of the end of my marriage just happened to coincide with a trip my friend and her husband were going on and I was talked into it... Continue Reading →

My marriage no longer exists

Readers may have noticed that many of my stories are set in the past, and infrequently, when something is particularly significant to me, I write about the present. Today, 23 January 2018, my divorce was finalised in court. It’s been a long process, as those who have been through it know, that started when we... Continue Reading →

There’s no friendship in divorce

I’ve had my heart broken before. Been left by my fiancé for a girl he met at the gym. Been in love with guys who haven’t loved me back. But the day I told my husband I wanted a divorce, I broke my own. Not because we weren’t in love. Not because he had done... Continue Reading →

Infertility leaves no physical scars

My mum had always told us kids that if we ever got a tattoo she would disown us. It was a serious threat that none of us had taken lightly. It had been a year since my diagnosis of immature egg syndrome. A year since I had stopped really caring what anyone thought, including my... Continue Reading →

How do you prepare for the unknown?

IVF was nothing like I expected. I mean it was, but it wasn’t. I was prepared for uncontrollable mood swings, stress and injections. What I wasn’t prepared for, couldn’t have prepared for, was how much I wanted to apportion blame. When we started our IVF cycle, all our test results pointed to it being a... Continue Reading →

It’s not my fault …

Extract from an email to an old friend dated 2 June 2014, three days before my diagnosis of immature egg syndrome: Hi D, Been awhile. I'm having a crazy nostalgic reach out to my past and share things with people who were so influential in shaping my life kinda day. How are you? I don’t... Continue Reading →

Rock-a-bye bedsheets and other stupid feelings

An extract from my diary dated 29 November 2009: As always it has been far too long between entries. When I look back to my last entry, I think about all the things that have happened since. Far too much to ever get down properly. Last time I wrote, S had told me he loved... Continue Reading →

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes … infertility?

My story began in January 2014. It was the night of my 30th birthday party when I finally broke down and told my mother that my husband and I had been trying to conceive for almost two years. I had just learned that the sister of a friend was pregnant for the third time. It... Continue Reading →

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