My sister had a baby girl today. I am crazy excited and can’t wait to smoosh her adorable little cheeks. I am also incredibly, painfully sad. I have had dreams about being pregnant for weeks now where I rarely had them before. In my dreams, I am heavily pregnant but have not seen a doctor... Continue Reading →
The moment I realised how terribly my infertility was affecting my ex-husband was on Father’s Day in 2015. He posted this picture on Facebook which at first glance appears to be a celebration of not being a dad. It’s a reference to an episode of How I Met Your Mother in which Barney celebrates a... Continue Reading →
It was six years this month since I found out I would never conceive using my own eggs. Six years since I fell into a deep depression, had weeks off work, starting drinking at 9.30am and cried every day. Next month, it will be six years since I started seeing a psychologist regularly to work... Continue Reading →
A boy sent me an unsolicited message. I call him a boy and not a man for reasons that will soon become clear. The boy’s opening message says “hey gorgeous, how are you and why on earth are you single?” It’s Monday morning and I’m forever too open. “The same reason that anyone is single, I guess.... Continue Reading →
My doctor told me I need to stop giving parts of myself away to people. I thought that was a pretty insightful observation from a man who was checking out my tonsils for infection. The appointment had been made several weeks earlier for a time after work, but as it turned out, I came down... Continue Reading →
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room, the one who came too soon and, get down on the record once and for all, that premature ejaculation is never the woman’s fault. Sure, our feminine wiles and bodily charms might contribute to you blowing your load before I’ve had the chance to part my legs.... Continue Reading →
The problem with people, is that we hold on to hope when there is none. Hope is so much a part of our psyche, that to give it up entirely would be to give up on humanity. That is to say, to give up on hope, we need to be dead. But having hope when... Continue Reading →
IVF was nothing like I expected. I mean it was, but it wasn’t. I was prepared for uncontrollable mood swings, stress and injections. What I wasn’t prepared for, couldn’t have prepared for, was how much I wanted to apportion blame. When we started our IVF cycle, all our test results pointed to it being a... Continue Reading →
