Ever have one of those days where you wake up crying? Drive to a meeting crying? Cry outside the meeting, cry in the bathroom at the meeting venue, cry on the drive home, cry at home? Where you cry when someone asks you a question or you have to speak about a job you loved... Continue Reading →
Salty hair, sandy butt and a fuck
It’s amazing what some sand and water does for my wellbeing. I’ve been getting to the beach as much as I can but this week’s unexpected leave has allowed me to spend even more time in my favourite place. Today I lay on the sand reading my book for about four hours. Sure, I had... Continue Reading →
What’s in a name? Everything.
I met someone at the weekend. We’d matched on Tinder last week, got talking, made plans to meet. After four days of all day texting, one night mid reply, he calls me. I thought it was an accident but no, there’s something he needs to tell me. My smile froze on my face, words died... Continue Reading →
A long overdue spring clean
I used to blame the ebbs and flows of interest I had in some men to the emotional highs and lows of my mental health. And ... that's exactly what it is. However, throw in some temporary sobriety, exercise, and being off my meds, I've (not for the first time) realised, I choose the wrong... Continue Reading →
The mistress returns
Sunday morningActually thinking cage for the day. Haven’t worn it for awhileDoes that still work for you when no one has ordered you to wear it?Yea it does. It’s all fun.Hot.It’s much better when someone has the key. But hey. Got to do what we go to do.What happened to date girl?Another one goneSo I’ll... Continue Reading →
Sad memories in a motel
Six days since he ended it. I’ve been pre-occupied with work which has helped but I’m finding it increasingly difficult to keep thoughts of him at bay. Last night I couldn’t sleep. The sadness is creeping in. I felt it washing over me in the quiet of this afternoon. I left my motel and started... Continue Reading →
Learning old lessons … again
A few years ago, I wrote about relief and sadness in break-ups. That if the break-up comes with a feeling of relief, you know it’s for the best. The signs were there, you just ignored them. If there are only feelings of sadness, you genuinely didn’t see it coming or didn’t see the challenges as... Continue Reading →
A contented little vegemite
I open a new document and prepare to write. My hands are poised over the keyboard ready to digitally reveal my innermost turmoil. My screen remains blank. My head is empty. No, not empty. Clear. Organised, stacked and catalogued thoughts. I sit and stare at the blank screen. There must be something; some barb to... Continue Reading →
When you love someone
Being scared of losing someone you love makes you do stupid things. The near constant self-doubt, the endless torment of thinking the next time they look at you they will realise how incredibly unworthy you are of them. When everything feels too good to be real, you wait for the pinch that will wake you... Continue Reading →
Moving out and moving on
It’s been a few weeks and shit is getting real. My house goes on the market today (eek), and I have an open house on the weekend. I want out of here and the bad dating karma it’s attracted. Sure, that could also be me, but easier to blame the bathroom tiles with dolphins on... Continue Reading →
They’re just not that into me
There is something wrong with me, I am now sure of it. If I cared about sports, my stats would show a plummeting batting average, striking out more often than not or being run out at first. My dating life has passed the comical let’s regale my friends with funny stories stage and instead is... Continue Reading →
Just add three years
I recently reconnected with a man I had sex with three years ago as part of what was not quite a threesome. I guess the better description for the scenario was cuckold play without the humiliation and degradation tactics. I was dating Jake, the man behind some of this blog’s more popular stories including Stuck... Continue Reading →
Finally growing up in lockdown
In high school, when I needed to do some thinking, I used to save it up for my shifts in the bakery. I mostly worked weekends but once I was in uni, I picked up shifts through the week as well. The monotony and repetition of bagging bread rolls, tagging products, busting out frozen dough... Continue Reading →
Breaking the drought
Lockdowns have killed my sex life. The ache was starting to infect my dreams. I was waking myself up gripping the bed sheets tight, legs thrown over them while dream me fucked figments of my imagination. It had been over a month now and my mood was fading faster than I could keep my vibes... Continue Reading →
The sound of warmth
I didn’t walk this morning, the first time in many weeks where the thought of getting out of bed was too much for my head to handle. I scrolled through the overnight news on Twitter and the world felt dark. Bleak. There was so much sadness and tragedy unfolding around the globe and here at... Continue Reading →
It’s been two weeks and three days
It’s been two weeks and three days since I had sex and, I believe, the longest I have gone without in … years? I’ve thought long and hard about this but with the exception of a 12-day run when I was hiking to base camp and back, I can’t recall another dry stint that comes... Continue Reading →
When sorry can’t fix broken
My heart is heavy which is strange given there is a piece of it missing. I’ve lost my best friend and the weight of it is strangling. It creeps up on me at unexpected times and I remember that I can’t call them on my long drives for work, or send them a meme I... Continue Reading →
The creeper and the fool
If yesterday's emotion was rage, today must be stupid. Cheyne made a fool of me for two years, pretending to be someone he wasn't. Trying to be the person he thought I wanted him to be. I've wondered today how many times he must have laughed behind my back. How many times he watched my... Continue Reading →
