And my shit decisions just keep on coming. Seriously, I am like a fucking magnet for arseholes at the moment and this morning, I potentially ruined some woman’s life.
Now, we all know dobbing on married men isn’t something I do. I have no leg to stand on when it comes to that. But this guy … he had it coming. After he sent me an unsolicited message on POF yesterday, I told him I wasn’t in the right head space for a chat. Told him I’d let an arsehole make a fool of me on Friday night. And this guy, haha, this guy made out like not all guys are bad and you just have to chat to the right ones.
“There are some arseholes out there but remember sometimes arseholes get fucked by dicks and maybe that arseholes will get fucked by a dick.”
He went on to tell me that my “arsehole radar” needed an adjustment. Oh, he was so fucking right!
Back and forth we went until he asked me why I was single. I asked him the same question. He said:
“Was married, was working overseas with family and pretty gruelling and neglected my wife and she cheated on me.”
I said I was divorced too. Too. Not, I’m divorced. I’m divorced TOO. The conversation moved on until he asked me to tell him something interesting about me. I mentioned this blog. I asked him to tell me something interesting.
“I’m a little bi,” he said. He went on to say it was more a curious, fantasy thing and that he hadn’t acted on it. Then this:
“I have played around with crossdressing a bit. I’ve done the whole dress up thing, that I find very sexy. Hair, make-up, lingerie. Just feel super sexy in it all.”
As we kept talking, he told me he wanted to dress up for me right now. That he wanted to be my sex object. That he wanted to meet me today to have some fantasies come true.
By the way, to all this I was telling him I was more than a vagina, that there was actually a person attached and I wasn’t interested in being more sex to some random. I ended the conversation.
This morning, he messaged me again, asking to start over.
“Sorry, I’m overly sensitive at the moment to being objectified by men,” I wrote.
“No, look, I totally understand, as soon as we went to sex the lower half of my body took over and I should have kept him in check. It was not very gentleman of me and that is something I strive to be. I think all women are beautiful inside and out. You deserve much more than to be objectified.”
“I know it’s not all men, but the run I’ve had lately of first date suggests otherwise.”
And this from him: “No, we are all aresholes, don’t forget that. We just have to learn to keep it in check.”
PS, I have tidied up all his spelling and grammar because it was APPALLING.
We then switched to kik and this is where he came unstuck. He had already told me where he worked and I knew his first name. But his kik name included, what I discovered, was part of his surname. I did a quick Google and found his full name and ran it through Facebook.
And as I’ve said, turns out he was married … with two kids. His POF profile said he had none. It was like waving a red flag at a bull.
“Your Facebook says you’re married,” I wrote.
“Wasn’t trying to be deceitful,” he said. “I haven’t changed it. You’re so going to think I’m full of shit aren’t you?”
“So you are married?” I asked.
“I am. Does that change anything?”
“And you have kids?”
“I do, I have two.”
“So, you’re married with kids and you lied about your name. And yes of course it changes things. I’m not interested in married men.”
“I completely understand.”
“You’re right, all men are arseholes.”
“We are,” he replied.
So, I messaged his wife on Facebook. She was easy to find being they were tagged together in a million pics. It felt awful to do and I was very apologetic.
However, based on her cool and calm response I suspect she either already knew or had suspicions.
She thanked me more than once. Then asked me for the screenshots.
So, I guess now she also knows he’s a little bi and into cross-dressing, if she didn’t already know he was a lying dick.
She seemed nice. Or maybe she really did cheat on him and this is him getting his own back.
Can we all just stop fucking lying to each other please? This is doing my head in.