An unexpected surprise from being back on the dating apps is the past lovers who slide back into your DMs and into your life. A little over two years ago I was seeing the farmer, a super lovely divorced guy a few years older. We dated about six weeks, a true summer lovin’ romance that had an expiry date.
He was a busy guy – not only running the family farm with I don’t know how many head of Angus but also a school principal and dad of two kids. He also lived an hour away from where I was living at the time, now about four hours away. When the summer school holidays were all but over, we made the call that he didn’t really have the time to commit to seeing anyone and we parted super amicably. I wrote about it at the time as being a very grown up ending.
I heard from him only once after that, when he text me out of the blue to ask about the dating site Ashley Madison, a site I had inadvertently become familiar with thanks to the complete fuckwit ex of a good friend. I’d scolded him in reply as it being totally inappropriate and that was the last I spoke to him. When I saw on Facebook late last year that he was expecting a baby with his new partner, I unfriended him. Not out of any anger or resentment, I just didn’t need another lot of baby news in my life.
Fast forward to early February and the farmer slid into my DMs. He was passing through my way and wanted to grab a beer to catch up. I was surprised but agreed, more out of intrigue especially as he said he was no longer with the new bub’s mum. The catch up didn’t eventuate as the region was battered by an East Coast Low and we made a raincheck.
Then yesterday, I get a message on POF from the farmer from an incognito profile. He was back in the game and wanted to know what had happened to my fella (as I had mentioned this when we organised the catch up). I explained it had ended and we got to chatting, about his school and Covid-19, being in isolation, his house renos, all kinds of friendly stuff.
But as we all know, these friendly encounters rarely remain PG and I ended up in the bath at my place while he was in the bath at his place. Turns out the farmer has learnt a few new tricks since we had been dating. He was bolder, more adventurous, dirty even. A change from his usual serve of vanilla no sprinkles.
We spoke and sext via video chat for about four hours. And it was fun. It feels like the first fun I’ve had in weeks. Just, let go, no cares or stresses or drama, fun. And it was nice. I mean, yep, dirty as fuck too but nice. It was like we’d never stopped being friends and when he spoke about why the relationship had ended with the mum of the new bub, I got it. The suffocation, the feeling of losing your space. It resonated deep within me.
Now I’m not suggesting the farmer and I are a thing now. Absolutely not. We both still want different things but it was nice to have some easy, casual and social distance adhering sex, even if it was virtual. And it made me miss my life then, when things were fun. Everything these days is so serious. I miss free and easy living by the beach, with beers on the deck, cones and guitars.