The heavy weight of words unsaid

A tangle of limbs on my bed. Our breath, that had been coming fast and hard, gradually slows. The skin on the underside of his bicep was smooth against my cheek, my hand thrown across his chest.

It had been so long since we’d seen each other and while the sex felt the same, everything had changed. He was wary around me, like a puppy that had been scolded but was desperate to crawl back into my lap to be pat. I could sense hesitation in the careful selection of his words. We were tiptoeing around the heavy weight of the words “I love you”.

I caressed his belly lightly as we talked, about work and people we knew. His hair was shorter than the last time I’d seen him, his beard trimmed close. I watched his lips as he spoke. When we had kissed hungrily on his arrival, I knew our fucking would be intense.

I’d promised him by message earlier that he could stir my cunt with his tongue and he’d cashed in immediately after our shower. I sat on his face and ground into his mouth, instantly wet from the combination of his saliva and my own longing. I’d forgotten how good it felt as I moaned limply into my bedhead, trying to hold myself upright as I came hard on his tongue. He growled into me and told me he wanted to be inside me. I’d taken him and rode him again and again, coming with a ferociousness only he evoked.

“That’s it, that’s it. Fuck me, you sexy woman.”

A growl in my ear as I gasped for breath, he pulled me in close and sucked my tongue, my head held tightly in his hands. When I slowed my body, he took up the pace, bucking his hips into me to drive his cock in, making me cry out in pleasure. When I had recovered, I leaned back to sit astride him, my hands on his chest and stared into his face.

Spent, we swapped positions so I was on my back, my legs in the air as he pinned my arms into the bed above my head. I loved it when he held me like this, his body heavy and dominant on mine. I loved being his in this moment.

I told him to come inside me and he assured me he would. He couldn’t last much longer, it had been far too long since he’d had me and he never had any patience when it came to fucking me the first time. We both needed it too much. He pulled out and I leaned down to take him in my mouth so he could finish. As he blew his load down my throat he succumbed to the bear growl, oh that sweet fucking sound that made me quiver.

And that’s how we ended up here, his legs now thrown over mine at right angles so I could run my fingers down his body, around his cock, between his legs, playing with his arse. We danced around the subject, touching on elements of what had happened while he was away, the things we’d both said. The things unsaid. He’d told me he wanted to talk but he wasn’t talking. He said he had plenty to say but not just then.

Maybe he had changed his mind. Maybe my craziness of the past few weeks had finally convinced him I was as unworthy as I believed. One last fuck for old times’ sake. I hope not.

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