When you’re infertile and dating, when do you talk about kids?

Today I went shopping for clothes I don’t need for a “divorce” cruise I’m heading off on this Friday. It’s not actually a divorce cruise but the timing of the end of my marriage just happened to coincide with a trip my friend and her husband were going on and I was talked into it... Continue Reading →

My name is AndrewNotChris – Part I

July 2017 I had been off work for two weeks before I could get an appointment with a psychologist. I had been seeing a psych regularly after my infertility diagnosis in 2014. Wendy and I would meet fortnightly or sometimes weekly, depending on how low my mood was. I was taking anti-depressants but it helped... Continue Reading →

ChrisNotChris … don’t push me

So it's been a few days and I haven't finished the tale of ChrisNotChris. I'll be real with you: he called me several times last week and I'm still dealing with his head fuckery. He's all but begged me not to share the rest of the story because he knows exactly how bad he'll appear.... Continue Reading →

Infertility leaves no physical scars

My mum had always told us kids that if we ever got a tattoo she would disown us. It was a serious threat that none of us had taken lightly. It had been a year since my diagnosis of immature egg syndrome. A year since I had stopped really caring what anyone thought, including my... Continue Reading →

I get by with a lot of help from my friends

I truly have the most beautiful friends. They make me cry and they make me laugh. They make me eat when I don't want to, yelling if they have to, and they try to put my nose ring back in when it falls out even when it's gross. They listen to me rant and rave... Continue Reading →

My marriage no longer exists

Readers may have noticed that many of my stories are set in the past, and infrequently, when something is particularly significant to me, I write about the present. Today, 23 January 2018, my divorce was finalised in court. It’s been a long process, as those who have been through it know, that started when we... Continue Reading →

My name is ChrisNotChris – Part IV

July 2017 They say karma is a bitch but on this occasion, she was my friend and ally. The morning after Terrible Tuesday, I rang in sick to work. I couldn’t yet face what Chris has told me and sleep beckoned me like a Turkish rug dealer. I messaged my best friend J to tell... Continue Reading →

My name is ChrisNotChris – Part III

4 July 2017 We nicknamed it Terrible Tuesday although the fact that “we” nicknamed anything already reveals there’s more to this story. If I’d been smart, there would never have been a “we” after such a day. He was on his way to the snow and decided to crash at my place and get up... Continue Reading →

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