Harvey the Married – Part II

It was hard, fast and everything Harvey needed in that moment. He’d had a stressful morning he told me. Work stuff and he hadn’t come yet that day. “You come every day?” Yes, don’t you? “Um no.” Once in my room, he seemed uneasy, like he wasn’t sure how to proceed. I stepped in close... Continue Reading →

No need to speed with Top Gun

I didn’t reply to him right away. I saw his response to my ad on Craigslist, along with the 32 others, sitting in my inbox waiting to be read. I had quickly culled the fatties, the uglies, the ones with no photos and no information about themselves until I was left with four. The four... Continue Reading →

The man who shouldn’t get married – Part I

It’s the first time we’ve been alone since his girlfriend, now fiancé, found out about us. I have no expectations about what might happen but when he immediately turns the conversation to sex after greeting me with a kiss on the cheek, I suspect we’ll end up fucking. He is getting married next Sunday; his... Continue Reading →

Harvey the Married – Part I

I met Harvey at work, maybe the first or second week after I started. He was reasonable looking, a friendly nature but there was something else. It took me a while to pin it down but I settled on “a twinkle in his eye”. He was charming, very fucking charming, and oozed charisma. We’d flirt... Continue Reading →

Real men leave their wives

An old school friend this week went public on Facebook to share he was in a new relationship. It was a shock to many people in his network as he'd been in a 10-year relationship with someone else and there had been little to suggest their relationship was in trouble. In fact, his recent Facebook... Continue Reading →

Married men want one thing

“I think one of the guys at work is flirting with me,” I said leaning out of my office door in the general direction of my friend Z. “What do you mean?” “I mean, we were talking about a media enquiry and now I think he’s flirting with me. What do I do?” “Um, nothing.”... Continue Reading →

There’s no friendship in divorce

I’ve had my heart broken before. Been left by my fiancé for a girl he met at the gym. Been in love with guys who haven’t loved me back. But the day I told my husband I wanted a divorce, I broke my own. Not because we weren’t in love. Not because he had done... Continue Reading →

My greatest teenage fear became my greatest adult grief

As a teenager, the fear of pregnancy was engrained. For all my girlfriends growing up, it was one of our greatest fears and a late period was the cause of plenty of angst. No one wanted a pregnancy at such a young age. It was unfathomable to imagine ourselves as mothers. Several months after the... Continue Reading →

You only get one first time

To understand my journey following my diagnosis of infertility, I think it’s important to reflect on where I’ve come from. I kept diaries for a significant period of my life, starting when I was 10. Diaries, for the record, are great ways to recall how ridiculously self-absorbed, dramatic and immature we once were. I’ve found... Continue Reading →

How do you prepare for the unknown?

IVF was nothing like I expected. I mean it was, but it wasn’t. I was prepared for uncontrollable mood swings, stress and injections. What I wasn’t prepared for, couldn’t have prepared for, was how much I wanted to apportion blame. When we started our IVF cycle, all our test results pointed to it being a... Continue Reading →

It’s not my fault …

Extract from an email to an old friend dated 2 June 2014, three days before my diagnosis of immature egg syndrome: Hi D, Been awhile. I'm having a crazy nostalgic reach out to my past and share things with people who were so influential in shaping my life kinda day. How are you? I don’t... Continue Reading →

Rock-a-bye bedsheets and other stupid feelings

An extract from my diary dated 29 November 2009: As always it has been far too long between entries. When I look back to my last entry, I think about all the things that have happened since. Far too much to ever get down properly. Last time I wrote, S had told me he loved... Continue Reading →

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